Donating your organs after you die can be one of the last altruistic you perform as a human being. Since you won't be using it anyway, why not leave your penis to some person that really needs it and can get a lot of good use out of it. While we're at it, I'd like to donate my period to someone that can use that, too. I'll also throw in a lifetime supplies of menstrual supplies at no cost to the lucky recipient.
May 22, 2016
14 min
Fat pigs roasting in the sand...the sound of fat sizzling and cooking on the beach...the scent of coconut (suntan lotion) wafting through the air...Hawaiian shirts that looked good when you bought them, but that you'll never wear again... Is it a luau? Nope, its just tourists from the mainland on the beach getting sunburned in Hawaii. Aloha.
May 15, 2016
29 min
Some foods give you a clue that they are not good to eat. Sour Cream tells you exactly what you're getting when you look at the name. How can that be good? Now, Homo Milk, on the other hand....how can that be bad?
Apr 27, 2016
15 min
Not every Lesbian conforms to the usual stereotypes. Some Lesbians don't actually play softball, they don't watch football and they're not turned on by other Lesbians with sports injuries. Instead, they carry the gene for hoarding animals they find on the street. If the animal has injuries or requires extensive vet bills, all the better.
Apr 24, 2016
16 min
Here we go again. A small, but vocal minority pushes to repeal the hard-won rights that LGBT people have recently gained in the South. If this keeps up, it's going to be a very long, very hot summer with Roxanne pissed off and angry again every single day. Please....don't let this happen.
Apr 20, 2016
13 min
Yes, it's true. The world really is conspiring against you to thwart all your efforts to get simple things done. Roadblocks are being intentionally put in your path to try and deter you from your mission. Now that you know that, there's only one thing to do. Take the advice of a not-so-famous three-year old and, "Try, try again, Mommy".
Apr 17, 2016
18 min
It happens at the most inconvenient time. It's never when you expect it. It hangs around endlessly and it takes longer to leave than you planned for. There's never a good way to get rid of it and it never gets a clue. It's not actually herpes, it's just the lonely neighbor renting the guesthouse in the backyard.
Apr 13, 2016
13 min
In the event of a global nuclear war the only surviving life will be cockroaches and rats. Of course, there's no need to wait until Armageddon strikes. Rats and roaches are living in every house in America. They're sleeping right next to you, walking freely around your house, eating your food, and having more sex and making more babies than you are.
Apr 10, 2016
22 min
This week's forecast includes heavy rains and a high chance of flooding. Expect huge mudslides and big messes to clean up. Your best chance of success this week relies on lots of blue tarps, large trash bags, gallons of cleaning fluid and rubber gloves. It's time for potty training.
Mar 30, 2016
15 min
It takes 10 muscles to smile and 6 muscles to frown. Either way sounds like a lot of work. Why not just go with Resting Bitch Face. That takes no muscles at all and is simply the look on some people's faces. It's not only true...there is science behind it to prove it. Upload your face.
Mar 26, 2016
24 min
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