On the July 2021 edition we talk about the new format for the wing's primary podcast stream and how we're bringing back the Seagull moniker in an audio format. We also hear from Col. Stephen Dillon in the form of this month's Command Message, cover some of the recent news and events that have gone on over the past month, and learn a bit of Air Force history in regards to former Massachusetts National Guardsman, Maj. Gen. Charles Sweeney. Thank you for joining us on this new chapter of the 102 IW podcast! The Seagull is a monthly program that is published on the second Friday of each month. Keep listening for the latest and greatest from Otis Air National Guard Base, Massachusetts!

Chief Master Sgt. John Dubuc, Command Chief of the 102nd Intelligence Wing, delivers the 102nd IW Command Message for June 2021. He discussed the importance of professional development, and the newly established Enlisted Force Tiger Team, which developed a framework to provide enlisted professional development to all Airmen. “I am excited about the changes that this will bring to all of us, allowing us to focus on the skills and competencies that we all need as American Airmen," says Chief Dubuc. “I ask that you all take advantage of the opportunities provided through this culture change with enlisted professional development. You are the best advocate for your career and I know that this will make you a better airman and wingman.” -----SCRIPT----- Hello Team, I am CMSgt John Dubuc, the 102d Intelligence Wing Command Chief with your Command Message for June 2021. This month I want to talk about Professional Development. What is Professional Development? What an important question to ask and I hope that I can provide some perspective for you. The American Hospitality Academy has a great definition and I want to share it with you, they state that Professional development refers to all training, certification and education that a worker needs to succeed in his or her career. I believe that it is important for you to define what professional development is for you and your career. The Air Force has done a tremendous job training all of us at basic training and tech school, providing all of the skills needed to start our careers. We are all provided opportunities to enhance these skills through Professional Military Education throughout our careers. These opportunities are so important to grow your skills and you career but it is important for you as an airmen to take advantage of these opportunities when they are offered. Professional Development can also take you to a different career path or even a different service. I began my career with the Army National Guard and did take advantage of opportunities for enlisted development when they were offered to me, knowing at the time that I would retire from the Army National Guard, boy was I wrong. I was given an opportunity to join the Air National Guard and did need to be retrained which opened up so many more opportunities for me and I know allowed me to develop the skillset that I needed to be the Command Chief of this incredible Wing. I will let you all know that your Wing Leadership understands the importance of Professional Development and how it molds our future leaders. This is my take on professional development and your Wing Leadership did identify some gaps in Enlisted Professional Development throughout the Wing. We established a Tiger Team to address these gaps and a way forward for our enlisted force. I wanted to let you all know about the great work that our Enlisted Force Tiger Team has been doing to begin our culture change regarding Enlisted Professional Development. This team has been working nights and weekends since early January developing a framework to ensure the 102d can provide deliberate focused enlisted professional development for all of our airmen. I am excited about the changes that this will bring to all of us, allowing us to focus on the skills and competencies that we all need as American Airmen. I ask that you all take advantage of the opportunities provided through this culture change with enlisted professional development, you are the best advocate for your career and I know that this will make you a better airmen and wingman. Thank you for all you do as members of the 102d Intelligence Wing, always remember that your careers belong to you!

Col. Nicole Ivers, commander of the 102nd Mission Support Group, delivers the 102nd IW Command Message for May 2021. She spoke about the hard working members in the MSG that support the 102nd Intelligence Wing’s missions throughout the Commonwealth and around the world. “We cook your meals, we guard your resources, we process your promotions and we move your cargo,” says Col. Ivers. “We work hard so you don’t have to worry about the little things. You can keep your eye on the ball – the Mission Support Group has your back.”

Col. Sean Riley, commander of the 102nd Intelligence Wing, delivers the 102 IW Command Message for April 2021. He talked about his goal to establish the 102nd as a unit of choice, reviewed some of the steps that wing leadership has taken and discussed how far the wing has progressed, achieving a 95% retention rate, where over 90% of eligible Airmen are choosing to reenlist with the 102nd. “So while there is still work to do, we are heading in the right direction, and I would like to thank each and every one of you for all you do to make the 102nd a world-class organization,” says Col. Riley. “With everyone’s help, we are clearly on our way to establishing ourselves as a unit of choice!” -----SCRIPT----- Members of the 102d, I am excited to bring you this month’s Command Message: Spring and nicer weather are just around the corner. the wing is back on step with in-person drills, and we are fully engaged with both our federal and state mission sets When I took command of the 102d one of my lines of effort was to – establish the 102d as a unit of choice. supporting Airmen personally & developing them professionally, enhancing quality of life by maintaining a climate that fosters, accountability, inclusivity and trust So leadership across the wing helped me develop Wing-wide Goals for 2021, to get after this Line of effort. Those goals are: Maintaining a retention rate greater than 90%, Looking for opportunities to recognize deserving Airmen, Providing Timely Feedback – enlisted & officer performance reports, Reenergize the Wing Diversity Council, Promotion Board Process, Implement an Enlisted Force Development Program at the 102nd. So how are we doing so far? Thanks to all of your efforts, our current retention rate is 95% and over 90% of eligible Airmen are choosing to reenlist and stay at the 102d. Commanders at all levels were challenged to review military decorations for all assigned Airmen and we announce and track all regional and national level award programs – So far this year, Mr. Scott Etler was selected as the Inspector General Civilian of the Year for the Air National Guard and Master Sgt. Meghan Gehl was selected as the ANG, Region 1, First Sergeant of the Year. We continue to improve with the timeliness of EPRs and OPRs and our IG office just completed an internal review of Airmen Comprehensive Assessments which identified several opportunities to make sure Airmen at all levels are receiving timely and meaningful feedback Our Human Resource Advisor, SMSgt Hayner has drafted a new vision for our Diversity Council and held the first meeting in a long time during the March Drill. Chief Dubuc developed a Tiger Team that is Improving our advisory councils, now the Top 3 and Rising 6. Developing a program for deliberate, Enlisted Force Development for all Airmen across the wing So while there is still work to do, we are heading in the right direction, and I would like to thank each and every one of you for all you do to make the 102d a world-class organization. With everyone’s help, we are clearly on our way to establishing ourselves as a unit of choice!

This is Airman Francesca Skridulis with the 102nd Intelligence Wing Public Affairs Office with the latest news from the wing. OTIS AIR NATIONAL GUARD BASE, Mass. - Security Forces Airmen from the 102nd Intelligence Wing deployed to Washington D.C. for over a month and a half, contributing to a mission at the Capitol building during the inauguration, and later, a civil disturbance mission at the White House. The Airmen’s resilience in the face of adverse conditions allowed them to partner with other forces to teach and learn new tactics that ultimately furthered and strengthened the knowledge and skills of our airmen, and the joint forces that keep our country safe. “They were very resilient,” said Master Sgt. Michael Anderson, the team leader for the group for both missions. “They were able to bounce back time and time again.” Eight Airmen from the 102nd Security Forces Squadron arrived in Washington on Jan. 14, just one week after the insurrection on the Capitol. They were a quick reaction force responsible for the south eastern end of the Capitol complex, working under the 1-181st Infantry Regiment, a Massachusetts Army National Guard unit. They worked taxing, 12-hour shifts where they conducted multiple threat assessments and used their knowledge of civil disturbance operations from missions in Boston to ensure that the Capitol and troops were safe and prepared in case a riot ensued. “They stuck through it,” said Anderson. “They slept in an office that was being redone because of mold, so it stunk. They were just great, and I couldn’t have done it without those guys putting in the hours and just toughening it out and embracing the suck, so to speak.” The Airmen worked closely with the Capitol police, giving classes and sharing tactics and new technology. As a result of this partnership, the Airmen were able to coordinate the ability to survey the area from the roof of the Cannon House Office Building during the inauguration, providing troops on the ground better intelligence and support. Soon after the inauguration, their mission ended and they headed home. They made it as far as Springfield, Mass. before they were called back and told they had a new mission, to protect the White House. Seven Airmen from the 102nd returned to D.C, where they were working under the 164th Transportation Battalion, another Massachusetts Army National Guard unit. Several members from the 102nd SFS had an experienced background working for local law enforcement outside of their Security Forces position within the Air National Guard, making them subject matter experts on civil disturbances. Their unique perspective and knowledge allowed them to jump head first into a joint-force environment where they trained over 300 Army soldiers on riot-control procedures. “We were able to formulate not only a PowerPoint presentation, but we ended up training almost all the Army guys there,” said Anderson. Airmen from the 102nd also got the opportunity to train and learn from the Secret Service Uniformed Division. Training with the Secret Service was a great experience and it changed some of the 102nd’s tactics and the way they’ll train going forward, Anderson said. “We definitely learned how to become organized and remain self-sufficient in a mass of people with a bunch of units from all over the country,” said Anderson. “It was good to have guys there from Massachusetts. I was really very proud of our unit when we left.” This has been a 102nd Intelligence Wing news update. For more news from the wing, visit our website at www.102iw.ang.af.mil or search for 102iw on any major social media platform.

On this episode, Ms. Jill Garvin, Wing Director of Psychological Health, speaks to recurring guest, Ms. Christi Garner about the needs of children in different age groups and some tips and resources that parents can use to ease some of their children's anxieties and help them work towards good mental health. Ms. Christi Garner is a licensed therapist and one of the 102nd ISR Group key spouses, and has worked extensively with active duty service members and families. www.traumaeducator.com ------SCRIPT------ Garvin: hello everyone this is Jill Garvin the director of psychological health for the 102nd Air National Guard Intelligence Wing today we are going to talk about month of the military child which is in April and we're going to do a quick podcast with miss Christi Garner she's one of our 102nd ISR key spouses she's also a licensed therapist who has worked extensively with active duty service members and families she's been on with us before and has a wealth of knowledge and we're going to talk a little bit about some parenting tips and we're going to share some resources with you that can be super super helpful and hopefully a lot of parents i know have really struggled during covid you've had to navigate a lot of change and and so have your children so welcome Christi Garner: so glad to be here Jill thank you thank you Garvin: so yeah what are some tips and some resources that you might have for us Garner: you know i've been talking a lot with people that have all ages of children and i think that there's different issues right for different levels of kids so the people that have little bitties at home there's some different issues happening right and i think it depends if those little bitties get to have pods of people they're interacting with or if they have some brothers and sisters or if it's just you and your little bitty so we'll talk a little bit about that and then of course elementary school and a little bit older kids we're seeing a lot of isolation for those kids especially the older ones not a lot of interaction not a lot of peer positives social support all of the things that those older kids used to be able to do to get that need met for connection like their developmental brain tells them they need they're not getting it so a lot of negative self-talk a lot of i would also say some suicidal ideations going up pretty high in those teens and so we're really looking at ways that you can help the older kids with some of those issues that you might not have thought of before and i think with those middle years just finding ways to engage more i know that our middle year kid at home is just constantly needing extra attention extra board games extra card games and extra things to do so figuring out where we can find some of those might be helpful what do you think about some of those tools too Garvin: yeah i love that and i like that you mentioned well just different age groups and it depends where someone is develop mentally in terms of what they can understand and what they can can grasp the other thing i was wondering about too is is yes people some children have really missed that connection and socialization piece and i know that some children have also enjoyed being able to you know do school from home and are having anxiety about returning back into the classroom and i know some have already have con have been in the classroom already but just wondering how parents can kind of help help ease some of their anxiety around returning back into the classroom too Garner: yeah i love that and i think we can start talking about that issue returning to the classroom and you're probably seeing two different ways the kids are reacting to that right i know some kids are anxious and ready to get back to school and really see it as a positive part of their life and some kids probably have the opposite reaction and hearing from a lot of people about the kids that are not so excited to go back to school right not so excited to have to interact or what i'm hearing a lot from the older kids is i don't know if my friends even like me anymore right because they haven't really been seeing them much or talking to them so i think really helping your kids talk about developmentally appropriate responses to what's happening i talked with some parents the other day and just saying hey you know what so-and-so might still like you or maybe they don't like you but maybe they're just having their own reaction to what's happening right now yeah we don't know if someone's parents are more high risk and so they've been having to stay home and stay away from everybody because their parents don't want them to interact with anyone else or maybe they live with their grandparents or something where they're not allowed to really have any social interaction until after this is over and then i think there's also been a lot of parents who have both been at work and those kids have just been at home doing their own thing and you know i see a lot of kids down here by the base going to the skate park every day after school and so i'm always like how can you help your kids if they're a little bit older to kind of socially engage again in a safe way outside of the skate park is a great place right because they can wear their masks and be socially distant but still hang out so trying to find different places where they can engage church groups i'm sure as well right some of those youth church groups Garvin: yeah and and speaking one of the resources that i was going to bring up is that both the 4-h and the boys and girls club clubs of america they offer a lot of different quality programs and free memberships to military youth as well so that's also something that that you that parents can take advantage of Garner: yeah you know i just i get on military one source a lot and i don't know if you get on that website Jill but they have the links to the boys and girls club of america mission youth outreach which is about money management and summer reading programs for kids and they also have military kids connect which is a place for kids pre-teens and teens to talk about different kinds of transitions so military kids connect might be a great place you know when we're talking about some of the anxiety that kids are having it would be similar to talking to them about pcsing even though a lot of people here don't pcs because you know we're in the we're in the in the guard the same issues about anxiety and transition come up in pcs so there's a lot of stuff about pcs thing on the military kids connect which would also be applicable to returning back to the school Garvin: yeah they have wonderful resources on there as well as well as i know during covid that children could also utilize military one source for counseling as well so that's something else to to check out and it's all free of course Garner: that's right they even have a parent coaching program on there where you can get a coach for free Garvin: yeah that's great and i think i would also encourage parents yeah to check some of these things out because you know depending on how we were raised and what our parents you know kind of taught us or how they disciplined us you know parenting is is very challenging and we learn that often from what was role modeled for us growing up and i know i've had quite a few people that have come in and again they've just been more challenged since the pandemic their own stress and then their child stress and just managing that and you're not supposed to necessarily have all the answers and and you're not necessarily supposed to be the perfect parent but you know just having the willingness to to look at some of these other tools and and other programs and coaching and all of those things you know just to give you some other tools for your toolbox is is wonderful that's one great thing about the military there's so many great resources for us Garner: yeah totally they even have a little section on apps which i have been looking at and they have apps for parents but also for kids different ages and so they have that coaching app in there and they also have like a sesame street kind of app for little kids which talks about some nervous system regulation exercises so you know deep breathing for little kids or different ways that you can help them to calm down or transition better on military one source you can find those apps as well Garvin: i love that that i always encourage parents too that when they are stressed out or if they're going through some kind of loss or big change you know it's okay to let your kids know that that you might be struggling a little bit too of course there's always an appropriate response but you know sometimes kids parents think that they have to behave or respond to things in some perfect manner and that it's not okay to to act stressed out or to get upset or to show some tears and again our kids watch us and how we respond to things and it's it's important to to let them know that you're human and and that you're stressed out sometimes as well Garner: yeah totally Garvin: just gonna share a couple other resources that i would recommend for folks to join the mailing list for the guard child and youth program in whatever area you're in in massachusetts you can actually send a request to mass m a s s n g y youth or n g youth at aol.com and they they have a social media account they do weekly emailings they will pass on discounts benefits and different services and also the military child education coalition has a wealth of information for anything education related they have they also have some wonderful free parent webinars every week in addition to other offerings for students and educators and home base which we've talked about here before which is a wonderful organization they have and a lot of our folks have utilized their their services and programs but they also have services for children that includes counseling nutrition wellness and some fun activities as well but they do offer programming in person and some virtual webinars and podcasts so there's just a ton of stuff and if you go on what's it called militarychild.org they have a lot of resources on there as well there's like a tool kit some different things that you can do during April for month in the military child and just a ton of resources so yeah there's a lot of different a lot of different things and i think it's the apps we've talked about that on this podcast too doing that with your child is both beneficial for you and your child again kind of calming your your nervous system and and showing your child that it's also important to take care you know of your mind and body and and breathing exercises and and how that can really be helpful and it would be a great thing to share to share with your little one Garner: absolutely i think too there's a tendency to think you have to do everything i'm remembering that just pick one thing right let's just for the month of April or the first week of April just pick one thing and maybe that's to look at one of these resources and then once you've done that just pick one of those resources and then try it out just repeat repeat repeat every day even the same thing yeah Garvin: and and on a serious note because i have had some some parents that have been very concerned about their children over this last year again some have had losses because of covid so they've lost a family member you know the loss of the socialization in the schools and things like that so and you had mentioned suicidal ideation before what if if someone is worried about their child or they have written something or they've drawn something that's concerning or they say something that is concerning or they say they want to die what are some resources and responses that we could offer parents in terms of where they can turn and where they can reach out for help Garner: well Jill you probably have some resources that are a good easy reach and when i think about responding to those i think about how busy we all are and overwhelmed we all are just in our day-to-day lives right and how do we make the time in that moment when we hear something that might be more serious how do we make the time in that moment to say hey what do you mean by that or tell me a little bit more about that what does that mean to you that you don't want to be alive anymore what does that mean for you that you wish you could die right and just starting to ask the kids about that a little bit more i was listening to someone talking the other day about some abuse they had endured and saying they kept explaining it to their parents right i don't like so-and-so and they're mean to me and i don't like it you know in years later it comes out that it was something really serious but the parent just thought that they were fighting with their cousin again you know so when someone says like i don't like this or i hate this or this person i don't like them or i'm feeling some way it's okay to just say well what do you mean by that what does that mean when you say that or tell me more about it right just taking that extra minute even if you're totally overwhelmed your kids have been fighting all day you've heard this a million times to just ask a little bit more of a clarifying question yeah and then finding the time to sit down i always tell people some kids can handle like a face-to-face interaction but some kids need to be like right next to you like maybe washing dishes or while you're driving them in the car somewhere like a side-by-side conversation can be a little bit less triggering to some kids of different ages where it's just like we're in the middle of our day maybe we're raking up leaves in the yard or you know making chopping up some vegetables together or something to say like hey i heard you say this yesterday what did you mean by that right just making it a conversation Garvin: yeah definitely exploring that because we don't always know if a child is being dramatic or or if there is really something else else going on so just taking that time out to ask them what what they mean by that and the suggestions that you had are great and then of course if you are really concerned about your child i'm a resource here for the 102nd you can always call me you can always bring your your if your child in if you wanted me to to have some eyes on but if you're ever worried about their you know their safety or if they have actually taken some kind of action you always want to take take them to the emergency room so they can be seen by a doctor and a crisis worker at the hospital and get them medically cleared and find them the the right supports but again yeah call me i'm happy to point you in the right direction and give you some additional resources if you are if you are worried about that and and never leaving if there is a serious concern never leaving your child alone until you you know connect them with someone or have them assessed by a professional Garner: yeah absolutely you know Jill i get this question a lot too it can be overwhelming to try to find a mental health professional so you can call your school counselor you can call Jill right you can call someone that you know that's a therapist you can ask me in the key spouse program and we can all help you find people because sometimes it feels a little bit like difficult like who do i find and how do i find them and how do i know if my insurance pays for it but some of us in the field can probably easily help you find someone and don't be afraid to ever ask us because i know we're kind of gatekeepers sometimes and your school counselor i'm sure also has a lot of great information for you if you connect to your to wherever your kids go to school there should be someone who has a lot of resources for you there as well Garvin: yeah good point definitely the school counselor and and even some of the members that i see here when they come in wanting to find a therapist and unfortunately tricare can be a little challenging at times to find well accurate information online who's taking tricare and how many providers take tricare but that's one thing that i can help with and like you said if we're looking for a therapist ourselves or for a child we're usually in a crisis or it's very stressful and very overwhelming especially having to make a million phone calls and something like that is very easy for me i'm happy to to find the resources for you or to reach out to that therapist first and make sure that they they do take your insurance and or what or to see what they specialize in especially if it if it has to do with your child or a specific issue that you're dealing with so those are some great suggestions thank you anything else Garner: absolutely yeah i think we can look at a couple things that are for little bitty kids but are also trauma informed and i'm trying to look at everything from a trauma-informed perspective right now because there's a heightened level of stress that we're all going through our kids included right so even with little bitty kids we want to make sure number one we be clear ahead of time so if you can explain ahead of time what's going to happen and exactly how it's going to happen then the kids will be a little bit less surprised so surprise sometimes is not exciting to kids right so if we make sure that we are going to explain what's going to happen before it happens it makes them feel more safe because it's more secure and predictable so this is great for two-year-olds all the way up to teenagers so prep them plan in advance reveal the plan explain the details and then you can also put your child in charge of something like we're going to leave at 8 o'clock so we can get to school at 8 15 we're going to get in the car after we eat breakfast and brush our teeth now i want to make sure that you have your backpack with your snacks in it right kind of giving everybody a job so prepping is always my number one tip plan in advance reveal the plan explain the details and put them in charge and then i think also especially for little kids but also for big kids that right now haven't had a lot of choices it's good to give choices right age-appropriate choices for little kids it's time for bed do you want your monkey or your bear right for older kids it's time for us to do it's time to calm down before bed do you want to read a book or do you want to listen to this meditation with me right like giving them choices about what they want to do it takes a little pre-planning for us adults but it's totally possible and it makes things a whole lot easier so that's my first and second tip today Garvin: good i love that prepping and choices Garner: yes Garvin: okay anything else that you were going to mention Garner: i think also knowing that us adults have to put on our oxygen mask first which i know we talked about still and uh the calmer you are the calmer your whole family will be so make sure you get in that time to prioritize the things that you need Garvin: yeah the more you take care of yourself the more you're able to take care of others and that's i know that's it's really easy for me to to give that advice sometimes to parents who have crazy busy schedules and and kids and activities and you know it's it's yeah easy to say like oh go and get your nails done or go for a walk and like when do i have time for anything like that so just like your suggestion earlier about pick one thing you know if it's you can definitely carve out even if it's 15 minutes or 10 minutes doing something for yourself and then that could be breathing exercises that could be listening to some good music or or going on a walk on your own but you know just trying to make that a priority for yourself is so crucial Garner: absolutely i agree Garvin: so thank you those are some great tips and great resources if anyone wants some of the names that we mentioned again some of the websites resources and emails please reach out to me or email me and you can also reach me on my cell phone which is 508-237-6652 if you would like any of this information and we will see you next time thank you for being with us today

On this episode Ms. Jill Garvin, Wing Director of Psychological Health, speaks with Ms. Sue Andersen about suicide loss and resources for grief management. Ms. Sue Andersen is the board president of the Samaritans and a certified yoga teacher. She hosts classes and workshops helping those who’ve experienced loss to 'Move Your Grief'. Sueandersenyoga.com ------SCRIPT------ Jill: hello everybody this is Jill Garvin I am the director of psychological health for the 102nd intelligence swing today for our wellness podcast I have a guest and her name is Sue Anderson I know Sue from the samaritan she's the board president of the samaritans she's it's a local support organization they have a crisis line we've talked about it on this podcast before they have several support services groups around suicide loss. Sue is also a yoga teacher and coach working with people who have experienced loss and that are grieving she offers a lot of yoga classes and workshops and we'll talk a little bit about how she got into that and at the end of the podcast we will give some information around some of the workshops and classes she has to offer and for the 102nd as well. Sue is also a suicide loss survivor who lost her son Ian and so i've asked her to share a little bit of her story and things that might have helped her along her grieving journey and again it's always important for us to have this conversation here at the 102nd as we try to reduce stigma and encourage people to seek help as quickly as possible. so welcome Sue thank you for being here today with me. Sue: thank you so much Jill Jill: yeah if you don't mind love to hear a little bit about about your son Ian how old was he when he died Sue: he was 25 and this was nine years ago this april and it was a shock you know he did have some some issues mental health issues very stressed but you know we never expected that he would die by suicide and at the time uh he was living in Rhode Island and we were here on the cape so you know there was a lot of it was it was an interesting time I would say because people down here on the cape where we were living didn't know him and so but everybody that we knew in Rhode Island you know where where we had lived previously of course knew him but I found probably a month after he died a resource that was an online forum called the alliance of hope for suicide loss survivors and one of the first recommendations that I got from somebody there was a breathing exercise and it was about you know inhale to a count of four exhale to account an inhale to a count of three exhale to a count of four and the idea was to you know just first of all that keeps your mind busy when you're saying when you're counting right but also just keep that regular breath because you get breathless you know in grief and stress and anxiety and I found that just so so helpful and then after that I began taking a yoga class locally and I had done yoga previously actually encouraged by my son but mostly that was from an exercise standpoint and now I was um going to the classes really for more about the breathing and the meditation so it was that's that was how I kind of got into it and that as I mentioned the the breathing was one of the first things that I found incredibly helpful at the beginning of the of my grief journey Jill: I think almost every the last few podcasts we've had we've actually talked about breathing techniques and the benefits to our nervous system and stress and anxiety so yeah another great example of how it could help you through such a traumatic time Sue: right right and it's I guess you don't really think about because we don't think about breathing because that's what we do but you notice when you're when you start these other breathing techniques how you know you're you really open up your chest opens up for example you know your lungs open up a lot more and one of the things that I noticed about me was I would describe to people probably the first year or year and a half maybe longer that I had a cloud stuck in my chest that's what it felt like you know and so the breathing you I could feel every time you know a little bit of an opening a little bit of an opening you know so that was you know it was really profound and really helpful for me Jill: yeah it sounds like it thank you for sharing that yeah I i am curious I don't know it's it's a difficult subject but just what were some of your reactions and how did you deal with them in addition to the breathing and the reason I ask is you know a lot of people think that you know grief is very linear and we go through these certain stages and that's not true you know it's messy it's different for everyone and so I try as much as I can here to sort of normalize whatever your reaction is is normal given to the abnormal event or whatever the sudden loss that happened Sue: yeah absolutely I mean I am i'm an outgoing person so I like connection with other people but for me initially I did not want to go to any kind of groups it just wasn't something that was it didn't feel right you know it didn't settle right with me right away and so I just did one-on-one counseling which was which was very helpful to me and I did a lot of reading you know of just all kinds of different books about grief Jill: yeah I was going to ask ask you about that as well because I like to give people recommendations of books that might be helpful are there any that stand out to you that are helpful with grief Sue: with the the one and i'm i'm going to forget the name of it but there is a book that I got right away before I tell you the name of it I just want to say that one of the things that happens to it happened to me and I think happens to a lot of people that are grieving is that you can't concentrate so getting a book sometimes you can't read it or you're not absorbing it your mind's not there right there is a book that is by I believe her name is Martha Whitmore Hickman and it's a men it's meditations it's a very small book you know footprint is it's a very small size but it's short little meditations that you daily absorb exactly daily meditations I think it's actually called daily meditations for grief and that's one of the first books and that is a book that I give to people that I know that have of are grieving because I feel like that's something that you can you can retain you can absorb that information Sue: other books that I read um that were helpful one is by um Annie Lamont andi it's help pray some I can't remember the last word but it's three words in the title um and then there were just other you know grieving loss of a child there's another book that I really like I believe it's out of print it's called seven choices and that book I found extremely helpful you know later on in in my grief probably the second second year or third year Jill: yeah Sue: was extremely helpful so I think for me it was a it was a mix depending on what the you know what felt right I did eventually go to grief groups I got involved in some suicide loss day kinds of events and activities survivor's day activities I did walks and you know gradually I had to find different ways to work things out you know one of the things that was also helpful to me was to was rituals so for example you know my son was engaged at the time so I had all of these ideas of life events you know that I would be participating in with him or you know that weren't gonna happen so I actually did a little ritual to to let go of those things where I you know went to the ocean wrote things on paper and threw it in there so those kinds of things you know were very helpful I think you have to find what works you know to get the the most important thing is to get is to move the grief out and and that's going to be journaling helps you know I do a lot of writing and then a lot of moving you know Jill: I liked what you said around moving you know and it never of course goes away and you never get over it but the importance of moving through it and working through it and learning how to deal with it and that's how a lot of people will develop post-traumatic stress disorder because often some of us want to avoid those feelings and and we do things to distract like drinking or spending or or doing other things that don't allow us to to move through those really uncomfortable feelings and eventually yeah that can really turn into something you know complicated grief and much more and much more serious so it sounds like you found what worked for you and helped you move and things that brought you comfort and a little bit of not resolve but you know just allowed you to to sit with the grief a little bit more Sue: yeah and you know I think I heard this description of grief being like a river where sometimes things are free-flowing and sometimes there's the log in the middle that that dams everything up and you've got to figure out a way to get rid of that log so you can be you know you can be fine for an hour or a day or whatever you can you know laugh and then you why am I laughing you know so there's there are a lot of things that you experience but I think it's important at least for me it was important to find ways to release the grief out of me whether that was talking or writing or physical movement or breath work and then sharing with other people I think is is really really helpful you know not to be afraid to do that Jill: I was going to ask you that about connection and the importance of that and if you met other mothers and other parents that had lost children and that had lost children to suicide so that's a very powerful support to help you in your grief it sounds like Sue: yes absolutely and my actually two of my college friends both lost children one as a young boy and the other one her son was 18. so they were there for me as support but I also found just um you know people that were uh just in just grieving in general or or had lost someone but maybe they were further along in their grief that were you know very comforting it just it's it's nice to make that connection because then you feel like you can talk to somebody I think no matter who you've lost in your life it's nice to be able to connect with somebody that has a similar experience sometimes you don't want to or either you don't want to talk about for example I might not want to talk about my son with people that maybe are you know like they're they don't want they're nervous about hearing about my son even if I want to talk about something that was fun you know or funny about them whereas other people might be more open because they've experienced something it doesn't frighten them so it's scary you know to people that haven't experienced grief to you know or something like a loss of a child to be talking to somebody who experienced that so they get nervous about it you have to I don't know kind of give people a little bit of a break Jill: yeah i've talked to a lot of different grievers that you know will share something like that and they know who's uncomfortable with it you know they'll be at the grocery store and see a neighbor somebody they've known forever and they just turn and go the other way because they don't know how to bring it up and maybe it's going to make you feel worse maybe it's going to make it worse you know so people don't say anything and they avoid it it's always one of the things i've done here too is try to offer suggestions for people on what to say to others that are grieving and even what not to say we have here at the 102nd a lot of our members have worked here for a very long time and they've known each other for many years and and their families and so there's naturally been been a lot of loss as well and so yeah I try to just give people a little bit of information on here's what you can say and here's what isn't so helpful to say was there anything that somebody said to you or that you could suggest it is not helpful to say especially like I know how you feel that's a big one Sue: well and this wasn't appropriate for me because ian was my only child but I remember one of my college roommates um she had cancer she died young we were in our 20s and I remember her mom telling me that people were saying to her well you have two other children and you know the mother was it was like what you know so right people try to mean well but they don't you know they don't sometimes really realize what they're saying um I think just you know asking how are you today Jill: yeah Sue: you know not not the general like oh how are you but like how are you doing today gives you know the person the opportunity to say oh i'm you know today's a good day Jill: right Sue: or today is a bad day you know something like that the other thing that's um I think is nice to do is you know and this is of course depending on how well you know somebody but you know is to talk about something that happened that was you know funny so the person that um that you're grieving the person that left you know oh my gosh remember this funny thing that happened or give you the opportunity to talk about that because i'm talking about something that funny that happened with you know with my you know best friend or my son or whatever somebody who's passed away and and then you you know you would be able to say something too so just having that opportunity to talk about the person I think is important but not talk about don't feel like you have to talk about the sadness Jill: right the death you can talk about their life yeah Sue: yeah and and again sometimes that's hard you have to kind of gauge what you know what's happening Jill: what would you say is i'm sure there are many things but what do you miss most about about Ian and what do you remember the most Sue: well his laugh you know he was he was a little bit of a jokester you know so that's that I remember very very demonstrative you know in love hug you know a person that liked to hug so I definitely missed that he had uh a lot of friends and but you know that i'm still friends with a lot of these friends which is really nice you know there's they're still in my life Jill: helped you stay connected Sue: yeah it helped me stay connected and I think was was good or is good for both of us you know certainly was good early on but yeah so that's that's what I you know miss and remember you know certainly Jill: yeah and I liked what you said about being able to share joyful memories and and more about their life not necessarily their death and other people sharing that with you because they knew him and that's a connection to Ian Sue: right Jill: so when somebody shares with you a funny story that is very nice for you and comforting for you Sue: right yeah exactly exactly sometimes I think it's harder for people that you know when you're in a community i'll speak in terms of losing a child when you're in a community that everybody knows you and knew your child then sometimes they don't know it's it's more it's an a more awkward situation they really don't know what to say because for me because my son no was in a different state people didn't know him because we moved here you know after he was a teenager you know it was in a sense a little bit easier because I didn't have people that didn't want to talk to me in the grocery store because they all they only knew me you know and and they knew me just from the neighborhood or you know a gym class or something like that you know they didn't really know me as the family that grew up in the kids in school and all of that kind of history so I think sometimes that's a little bit harder for people and it doesn't matter whether it's a child or a husband or a sister you know wife whatever I think sometimes it that is a little bit more difficult it just that i've heard from other people Jill: thank you for sharing that yeah that's helpful so it sounds like you started utilizing breathing techniques and you got into yoga and and learning how to be in your your body and and how and that really helped your grief tremendously and the other thing I want to talk about is I know that now you help a lot of others Sue: yes Jill: by offering what helped you to the community so can you tell us a little bit about your workshops and classes and how you kind of started doing that Sue: yeah sure so I practiced yoga for probably five years before I took my teacher training and over that time over the teacher training and as I began to teach different classes I found that I was drawn to classes that were maybe a little bit more gentle that were slower that allowed the participant the student to really just relax and you know have that opportunity to meditate and just you know kind of get into their own head you know and and have that find that time because we don't really get a lot of that time for stillness and silence and and that I saw was very beneficial to a lot of people as I got involved with the samaritans which was four years ago in april Sue: I also got involved in some other organizations that another organization here on the cape called sharing kindness and that kind began to shape a little bit more of these special classes that I was doing or workshops that were associated with or i'm sorry working with people that are grieving and combining the breath work gentle movements and restorative yoga to help people have that opportunity to um you know get um get some of that energy negative energy out with movement and then that relaxing uh piece of it and restorative so so that really over the last couple of years is where is where that's come in and i've taken a couple of additional trainings in that area to you know figure out what are the best poses to use and things like that so I have um on my website now i've got a page that's specific to grief and loss and it has resources there there's also another resource page that I have that has additional videos of classes recorded classes Jill: what is your website Sue: it's Sue Anderson which is a-n-d-e-r-s-e-n-yoga dot com so there are resources there and there's also weekly classes that I teach so I i teach two classes on zoom only those are wednesday night and friday morning and then I teach a class through a studio in sandwich that's on zoom or in person Jill:and any workshops Sue: I have a workshop that is going to be coming up the end of April the beginning of May and i'm still finalizing the date it'll be a two hour workshop called moving your grief and it will include breath work meditation journaling and that will be hopefully in hyannis i'm still getting the space signed on and open on also on zoom so it'll be in person and on zoom Jill:great and so are do these cost or are they free Sue: so the classes are between 10 and and 20 depending on the length of the class and the workshop does have a cost but that will also have some availability for free Jill: if somebody can't afford it Sue: if somebody can't afford it Yeah you know so we're working on that as well Jill: okay thank you I look forward to I know I want to do the workshop and your restorative class this friday and you also offered when we were talking earlier about doing something online for us here some kind of class Sue: absolutely yeah so if there is you know if there are a few people if there's a group if you want to do something once a month you know it's it's easy to set up something online you know that can be done really quickly it's just a you know figure out the time and you don't have to worry about location yeah i'm happy to do to offer offer class 30 minutes 60 minutes whatever okay sounds good Jill: good definitely we'll get some feedback from folks here I really appreciate your time and and I wanted to mention the samaritans again that they have a lot of different support groups and resources if you are a survivor of suicide yourself or if you've lost a loved one to a suicide they have some different things that they do and um and again that the crisis line is available and that's all on the cape is there anything else that I left out or forgot about that you would want to mention before we close up Sue: no I don't think so I i think we've covered uh a lot of territory yeah Jill: well I really appreciate you sharing your story with us and and telling us a little bit about Ian I think it helps a lot of people to share your experience strength and hope and and thank you for being here Sue Sue: you're so welcome thank you for inviting me Jill: Thank you. Bye.

On this episode Ms. Jill Garvin, Wing Director of Psychological Health, speaks to Ms. Kristen Alexander about the importance of communication, connection and community when it comes to relationships. Ms. Kristen Alexander is a Heroes In Transition spouses group coordinator. Heroes In Transition provides many family, couples and veterans programs to our community. heroesintransition.org ------SCRIPT------ Jill: hello everybody this is Jill Garvin the director of psychological health for the 102nd Intelligence Wing welcome back to our wellness podcast today I have Kristen Alexander here with us she is from heroes and transition a lot of you have probably heard about them one of my favorite organizations and favorite people they assist veterans and military families and do a lot for our community and for a lot of our members here at the 102nd actually Kristen and her husband John they are both couples group facilitators and Kristin is the spouse's group facilitator and John is the veterans facilitator co-facilitator am I saying that the right facilitators right Kristen: yeah coordinators facilities that's what I have to say it's all good Jill: yeah so coordinators I apologize so one of the reasons I wanted to talk to Kristen about some of the programs and offerings that that heroes in transition has is because a lot of people i'm finding especially since Covid have really been struggling in relationships marriages that have broken apart or relationships that are really really struggling and a lot of people are struggling right now and I have definitely had an uptick in in my office and my arena around people struggling with that and heroes in transition certainly has stepped up during Covid and and is offering a lot of different things to meet the needs of our veterans and their families and since Kristen is involved in the the program for for couples and and in relationships I wanted her to tell us about what they're doing and introduce yourself and tell us how did you get involved with heroes in transition you and your husband you know give us a little a little background Kristen: awesome thanks Jill so my name is Kristen Alexander as Jill said and we are going into our fifth year with heroes it is my husband had started with them in a conversation of facilitating a veterans group and carrying that on and I was kind of like yeah well there’s spouses two so because my husband's a veteran so we've been through the deployments and you know all the things and so that really sparked an awesome conversation about starting with couples first and building the trust there and then breaking off and doing kind of separate groups so we started from the grassroots up and we started with the couples group we created a couples group and it just has continued to grow and grow and grow now that we have now we have to do lotteries for our events Jill: Wow Kristen: yeah so it's been amazing and it's been amazing to see the growth not only just within the organization in the group but the growth and the friendships that have come together because of that space Jill: i've heard some amazing feedback from our members that have gone on some of the couples events and retreats and it sounds like it is really well planned and just very therapeutic and amazing Kristen: yeah it's really great coming from because i'm not a therapist you know I don't i'm a spouse you know I am half of the married couple so that's the role that we take with it is you know creating the relatedness of another angle you know and what that does is that opens up the door for more conversation for maybe more needs that whether it be the veteran or the couple or the spouse might need they tend to be a little bit more open to maybe furthering on with other areas but you know reading just some of the things that you know we get feedback on and with covet it's been tough because a big part of what we do is we would do we do monthly we do bi-monthly events so what we do is we do like last month February was a couple's group event and we did a virtual valentine's dinner that was amazing and then this month we'll do the veterans will do an event and the spouses will do events separate and then the month after april we'll go back to a couple so we kind of alternate so it kind of it builds up the individuality because to be able to be strong as a couple you have to have your you have to know who you are right like so you still have to have that sense of self and independence Jill: yeah Kristen: because sometimes that goes away as a military spouse right but thank goodness for zoom we've been able to go virtual and it was like hey we don't have to give up everything but it has been a big part of like I said what we do is we would do an event to kind of get people together socializing that kind of thing and then we would do dinner and not being able to do the dinner was a fear that we would lose that connection because when you're sitting down having dinner and that's where the connections are coming in the smaller conversations and you know that kind of thing and but we've been able to through being virtual we've been able to still somewhat keep that connection and we've actually had a lot of new people join us which has been great because a lot of people don't feel comfortable coming into a group Jill: right Kristen: so the virtual aspect has been a blessing there's a blessing in everything as we know has been a blessing to allow people that maybe would feel a little bit intimidated or uncomfortable to be around people physically at first Jill: yeah Kristen: to kind of come in this way you know and like one of the things was feedback we got was it's such a pleasure knowing that in difficult times we can still grow and adapt to continue to get to get out there and build your support group you know so just knowing that providing that space for them you know and don't think we're not getting anything from it Jill: of course yeah Kristen: you know it's just it's it's pretty amazing Jill: so so how did you and john so you're doing this as a as a couple right obviously and what what kind since you're a spouse as well what sorts of things have helped you along your journey in marriage as a military spouse what what things have helped the two of you stay married Kristen: yeah so there's that yeah communication for sure and a lot of what takes a long time is to really learn how to listen and listen in a way that you're you get the intention of the conversation right so it's like kind of building those skills you know and it lit I remember when we went to therapy back in the day you know and just one of the exercises that we had to do was sit back to back and take take 10 minutes talking taking turns because then you're not interrupting Jill: yeah Kristen: he couldn't see my face because he doesn't because I was a crier I might still be but you know doing things like that you know so like some of one of the exercises that we did during one of our retreats was it was called the recreation exercise so one partner would say something and then would express whatever they were gonna express and then the other partner would come back and say okay so I heard this is what I heard and would say it back and then they would have a conversation did they really hear what that person was saying Jill: yeah Kristen: you know so it's really and it's just practice and when times get crazy we all fall out of it a little bit so those these reminders of the things that we do and we continue to really put in how important communication is is a good reminder for everyone that you just can't be successful without communication Jill: yeah communication is so key Kristen: yeah Jill: and i'm glad you mentioned well just an idea of one of the things that you do on the at the retreat yeah tell us a little bit what are the events like what do you do Kristen: yeah so we have twice a year so we do that every other month so that every month there is a an event for a veteran spouse Jill: and what type of events the this month Kristen: for the spouses I am running a i'm leading a vision board workshop so we all and we're gonna focus on hope like what can we bring you know what can we create and really just kind of getting down I have a whole worksheet there's a process it's not just cutting out pictures and pasting them they're gonna we're gonna do some digging you know in creating and with that the veterans this month are doing they're doing yoga and meditation which is awesome Jill: with Sarah right Kristen: yeah yep saturday we love Sarah yeah and also too I know they're still doing they do some work with Marie Bartram also and I know that they're still doing some like weekly virtual events too just to kind of keep people connected which is super important every saturday I do a spouse's coffee chat virtual which has really been a huge part of staying connected you know about Jill: I love that kind of thing what time is that Kristen: 9 a.m on saturdays and we do have a facebook group for couples and we also have email lists that I can give you you know when we before we wrap up how people can get connected to that kind of stuff but what we do I want to a couple of our biggest things is twice a year we do a couples retreat so we you know and they both have a little bit of a different focus one of the couple's retreats is really about building the community in teamwork you know also working on communication skills with each other but like building community and just really getting that you're not by yourself in this you're you've got people you know and then the other one is really digging deeper into your relationship in really just looking at how you can work on those communication skills different things different exercises that you can do how to communicate in a way that is effective because there's all different levels of communication Jill: It is a skill Kristen: as we know and to be able to communicate effectively is a huge skill you know and you know unfortunately we're not born with it we have to create it and but we also have to be committed to it Jill: yeah Kristen: you know and really just being able to get on each to get on each other's level really just listen to the other person you know one of the things that we learned was doing a daily temperature reading and what that is is you just there's like five different topics and you take turns and there's no discussion about it you're literally just filling in this is what's happening this is what's new blah blah blah you know whatever that kind of thing Jill: nice Kristen: yeah it's really cool Jill: well I was going to say you mentioned uh community connection communication and committed and just that just paints such a wonderful picture on yeah how we have successful relationships whether they're friendships or romantic relationships in our marriages but especially that connection piece and I love that you guys are keeping folks connected Kristen: yeah thank you it's you know and really just looking at again some of the things that they give us back you know the feedback like what stands out is reconnect relearning love languages you know that kind of stuff really just having one-on-one time to themselves instead of always being a parent oracle or a worker or you know something like that and what happens is a lot of times they don't especially with our military families and couples they don't have family here you know so they don't really get a lot of that one-on-one time you know so now when events come up they're a little bit more apt to look you know might look for a babysitter and make that extra effort to get that one-on-one time and then when they experience that one-on-one time they're like oh that's who you are oh I forgot Jill: yeah you're an adult too Kristen: yeah right you know so it's really it's really been so amazing Jill: yeah you guys do so much and again I know we're all appreciative of especially during Covid just stepping up and and having all of this and and because most everything is free right Kristen: everything is everything is free Jill: which is amazing yep yep and and I love yeah there are a lot of uh silver linings that came from Covid especially zoom and like you said there are a lot of veterans or service members those that suffer with anxiety or ptsd and they don't necessarily want to go into a crowded room with other people and so having the option to to see people on a screen and you're in your own safe comfortable environment is is wonderful yeah something wonderful Kristen: it kind of fills that gap a little bit yeah and for our valentine's dinner we had you know we had everybody got to pick up their dinner they got a choice of their meal they went and picked it up at marshland 2 and we met on zoom at 7 pm and there were a lot of people that didn't know each other because we've been in this for a year so we haven't really been able to you know do a lot of the connecting but by the time that dinner lasted like three hours and we were like wow like we laughed and people just got to really know each other and people were sharing and it was just you know it was just really great for them to have that like ah yeah with my people Jill: a breather yeah and and and there's such power and just being around other people that you can identify with and understand military life culture marriage all of those things do you guys have something coming up Kristen: we have well in March 20th we have the spouses the spouses event and that's going to be a vision board workshop and then the veterans are doing they're doing yoga and meditation I think that might be March 13th might be the week before I think maybe and then there's also we have a families group too and Casey and Aaron and Vanheusen run that and that's amazing so we do and those are monthly events and you know we couldn't do it without the hard work of our donors and sponsors who are like Jill: yeah I know and that's because they see all the great work you're doing they love you guys it's just amazing to see the outpouring of support and love that heroes in transition gets from the community Kristen: it's been amazing and we do have it's the full moon yeah that's why i'm but we we do have the Ruck4HIT coming up which is like one of our aside from the gala well both of those are our biggest fundraisers and the Ruck4HIT like everybody can take part you can run walk you can do whatever and that is going to be based right out of Mashpee and that is the end of April April 30th to Jill: yeah so that every you guys will be meeting at the heritage park Kristen: yep that's going to be our home base and we have teams and we've been doing that I mean we've been doing that I think this is our fifth or sixth year doing that the first one we did the beta run to new york city and back and that was pretty amazing Jill: everybody knows about the rock Kristen: I mean I think so but it's so great and that's when and we also what happens with the ruck is we have a lot of the people that participate in our groups they that's where they come to give back so they volunteer and they kind of you know help the whole thing happen but again we couldn't do it without the people that sponsor us and you know our donors our board of directors are amazing they just have so much trust in us which is amazing yeah Jill: yeah well you do amazing things and you have amazing results you've helped a lot of people like I said there's so many 102nd members here that have given me feedback over the years about oh just all the different ways that heroes in transition has helped them and and we've been able to call on you guys when we've needed something or needed a resource for someone it's just great to be able to pick up the phone and and get you guys anytime so thank you so is there anything else you'd like to mention that that's coming up or how do people find you Kristen: people we have we do have a website at heroesintransition.org and an easy way to remember how to get connected to the groups it would be if you were looking to get information about the spouses group you would email [email protected] if you wanted to get information about the veterans group veterans at harrows in transition and couples couples at heroes families families at heroes so we try to keep it simple you know that kind of thing I know the couples group we have a private facebook group that is specifically for military couples the families group has a facebook group for that but definitely go and you know like heroes in transition on facebook and you'll see all the connections there Jill: you're on instagram too right Kristen: I think so I i should be better at instagram and just Jill: some people are more instagram Kristen: it's yeah yeah yeah but I think we have an amazing social media guy Chris he's just awesome and yeah he he gets all of our stuff everywhere yeah it needs to go Jill: and the emails you mentioned if they go on the website all of those Kristen: they'll be able to find you know find that too you know and then they'll also be able to see you know we're pretty good about you know responding quickly and you know like the spouse's group events are for spouses of military members you know the veterans events or for that you know that kind of thing so yeah so Jill: wonderful Kristen: so that's it like just come see us no matter what rain shine we make it happen Jill: especially with zoom it doesn't matter what the weather is Kristen: yeah in person not in person Jill: you know and I love the the that you guys are doing rock the way you're doing it I i don't think I could have ever participated before but i'm planning on doing it this year yeah I have been running but but just again the way that uh some of the different options I think will make it more available Kristen: yeah it's we had people from other countries participate last year we had so that's the thing with Covid too like it's kind of you have to be creative right Jill: yeah Kristen: and you have to open up we had families participate together you know and they would send in their miles you know and then we'd add them up on on our team or whatever yeah yeah definitely a way whether you want to come and walk and you know the registration form is out I believe which is cool so anybody can register can register individually or as a team and then or you know come down and help us out you know just be a smiling face and cheer us on because we'll be tired Jill: well thank you and please thank uh Cindy and Nicole for all and your wonderful board I appreciate everything that you guys do for the community and I appreciate you coming on today and we'll definitely have you guys back because you're always doing new and innovative and ongoing things and I want to remind people that you guys are here so thank you Kristen: anytime thank you

Col. Robert Driscoll, commander of the 102nd Medical Group, delivers the 102IW Command Message for March 2021. He spoke about some of the missions that the Massachusetts Air National Guard has contributed to this past year, and reviewed the latest safety protocols, including mask guidance from the Department of the Air Force. “I have been inspired by your selfless dedication to the mission whether it was at the Holyoke Soldiers Home, the Covid testing mission, caring for our most vulnerable citizens in the state’s long term care facilities or currently with the vaccine mission – I want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart,” says Col. Driscoll. -----SCRIPT----- Hello – My name is Colonel Bob Driscoll – Commander of the 102 Medical Group and I have the honor and privilege to work with some of most inspiring Airman in the Massachusetts Air National Guard. Medical professionals who truly emulate the Air Force Core Values specifically Service before Self and Excellence in All We Do. This includes the 102 Intelligence Wing members who (although they do not have a medical AFSC but possessed a medical certification) stepped forward over the past year to assist in the state response to the Covid pandemic. I have been inspired by your selfless dedication to the mission whether it was at the Holyoke Soldiers Home, the Covid testing mission, caring for our most vulnerable citizens in the state’s long term care facilities or currently with the vaccine mission – I want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. As we slowly and carefully return to the Wing for the March RSD I would like to take this opportunity to review the safety protocols with you to include the Department of the Air Force Guidance on the use of Masks: All individuals on the property of the 102nd Intelligence Wing will wear a mask, including those who have been vaccinated. The only exceptions for mask wear are to accommodate a religious belief; if you have underlying health conditions WITH medical documentation; if you are outdoors and proper physical distancing can be maintained; if you are actively participating in physical fitness activities indoors or outdoors and physical distancing is maintained; if you are alone in a vehicle or in a vehicle with a member of your household; when it interferes with proper wear of PPE for mission duties; when personnel are in aircrew positions during critical phases or flight emergencies; or when clear or unrestricted visualization of verbal communication are essential for effective operations. All masks should be functional, clean, and cover the month and nose at all times. Other safety protocols include social distancing (6 feet apart), hand washing, as well as temperature checks when coming into a building. Also if you have a fever or the chills; have a cough or shortness of breath or difficulty breathing; feeling fatigued; have muscle or body aches, a headache; have loss of taste or smell; have a sore throat, congestion or runny nose or are experiencing nausea, vomiting or diarrhea - Please stay home, call your medical provider and notify your supervisor. The Medical Group is advocating and working very hard on your behalf to obtain and provide the Covid vaccine for you. I ask that each member of the Wing do their homework on the vaccine and review the literature so when the vaccine is available to you - you can make an educated decision and not one based on misinformation or rumors. I am happy to say I have been vaccinated to help protect myself, my family and my coworkers at the Medical Group. If you have any questions regarding the vaccine contact your medical provider for guidance. I hear Covid coming up everywhere as the reason for inactivity. We cannot let Covid paralyze us. In closing I want to remind everyone that We are the United States Air Force - We are Guardsman - Together we will get through this pandemic. Thank you!

On this episode Ms. Jill Garvin, Wing Director of Psychological Health, speaks to Ms. Christi Garner about the importance of recognizing that nervous system wellness is just as important as physical wellness, as they discuss different ways to take your body from a stress response into a rest response. Ms. Christi Garner, is a licensed therapist and one of the 102nd ISR Group key spouses, and has worked extensively with active duty service members and families. www.traumaeducator.com ------SCRIPT------ Garvin:hello everybody this is Jill Garvin the director of psychological health for the 102nd intelligence wing it's nice to be with you today i have a special guest her name is miss Christi Garner and she is one of the 102nd isr group key spouses and a licensed therapist who has worked extensively with active duty service members and families most recently she was an embedded therapist with the squadron flying and maintaining Marine One and then a security forces squadron at a po1 installation which is one of the highest protection level for air force assets and she is also the spouse of one of our wonderful commanders here Col. Dovalo so i appreciate you being here and you are going to talk about how to go from stress to rest and so i'm going to let you explain what that means exactly and why it's important and we'll have a discussion around it Garner: awesome thanks Jill i'm excited to be here so going from stress to rest we are going to look at today some tactics techniques and procedures of how to take your body from a stress response into more of a rest response and it seems like these days right now especially with the stress of what's happening in the world around us as well as some of the isolation and being stuck at home and having our kids with us a lot of the time and a lot of our activities that we go to for rest and relaxation we don't have access to right now Garvin:absolutely Garner:so learning some different ways to put your body into a rest state has been one of the top topics that i've been talking to clients and even my friends about this list Garvin:good well i could use it too and i definitely have noticed just with a lot of the folks that come into my office it is a really stressful time for everybody it has been so i love that you're going to give us some ideas on on how to rest our nervous system Garner:yeah awesome so the number one thing that i always tell people and has really been an issue in our house is sleep routines so falling asleep first of all right like making that nighttime routine of course staying off electronics if you can for an hour before you go to bed but i know that sometimes a lot of my service members including my husband have a hard time falling asleep so progressive muscle relaxation or you can also youtube something called yoga nidra but it's a way to relax your body kind of from head to toe so that you can fall asleep with more ease Garvin:i love yoga nidra i listen to that too we mentioned this on another podcast insight timer and uh for folks that don't know what that is you're not actually doing yoga but as you're resting and your eyes are closed you're just uh focusing kind of like a muscle a progressive muscle relaxation but you're focusing on different parts of your body and it is so calming i love it Garner:so calming and it helps i swear everyone that i tell it to it has dramatically increased their ability to fall asleep faster and rest deeper and the other thing that we've really been doing at my house is looking at our devices like our apple watches or fitbits and analyzing our sleep patterns and what we noticed is you know you can really track things such as staying up later drinking alcohol exercising or shift change times you can really see how those affect your sleep and your rest abilities Garvin:because it tells you if you're getting really restful replenished sleep Garner:that's right sleep yep and it tells you when how much of the time you're deep sleeping like i am a super light sleeper so i get about sometimes only 30 minutes to an hour of deep sleep a night where my husband gets about eight hours of deep sleep so when i wake up tired every day i was like wow what is what is going on with me like am i not eating right am i not exercising right but when i started really tracking my sleep patterns it really helped me to understand where i needed to put more time and effort and for me that was a routine Garvin:coming up with strategies to help you get a deeper sleep Garner:yeah totally so that was my number one tip for everybody is getting a fitbit or apple watch or using something to track your sleep and then doing some kind of routine right before bed like yoga nidra or progressive muscle relaxation and the second one and i'm pretty sure we've talked about this before Jill but breathing we all know how to breathe but we have to sometimes reteach ourselves how to breathe so that the breath is working for us and not against us Garvin:i like that and that's one thing that i tell just about everybody that comes into my office too it's something that i practice i remember when that was first suggested to me i didn't really understand how breathing was gonna help but now it's a habit so i notice when i'm not deep breathing or i'm shallow if i'm having some anxiety i know that i'm not really breathing very well so there's a lot of science behind that and i really encourage people to to check that out for themselves Garner:yeah absolutely Garvin:what kind of breathing techniques do you use Garner:so i my two go-to are the foursquare breathing which i think comes from a special forces training anyway where they teach you to breathe in for four hold for four breathe out for four and hold for four so that kind of four square breathing i notice all of my frontline responders and people that are interacting in stressful situations that's a super easy one to remember that will help you to kind of get back into that more rest and parasympathetic system instead of that fight flight anxious sympathetic place so four square breathing and the other one that i use is four seven eight so like you said getting that deeper breath sometimes we want to focus more on the out breath and the in-breath if we're feeling we're having a lot of anxiety or tension or stress so that's breathing in for four holding for seven and then breathing out for eight so that one will work any time even for kids especially when you notice yourself getting a little bit more anxious or tense Garvin:that's a great idea to remind people that they can do with this with their children as well i remember seeing my niece i think they did something in school but she would hold up her hands and then count like you know one two three four with her digits her fingers to keep track so that would be something that parents could do with their children for calming breathing exercises Garner:absolutely it's a great one and the kids one of the best things i always tell people is you can get your kids to teach you how to do it then they feel like they have some control and they're showing you something new but that's always a good one like mom's feeling upset can you show me how to do that calming breath again that we practiced right so kind of making it a game Garvin:great idea thanks thank you Garner:so breathing it always is always a good one um you know and the other thing that i think we're all dealing with is some zoom fatigue right Garvin:yes Garner:so a lot of the way that our nervous system responds to the way we're all interacting these days we have our cameras really close up to our face which is not something we are normally seeing people so close up and so intensely focused on people the way that we have been this last year over the zoom so a little tip that will help you move from this more like extreme focused sometimes tense place of being on a zoom call all day is to focus like on your screen where you're watching the zoom and then let yourself focus six feet away for just like 10 seconds and then bring your focus back to the screen for a few seconds and then focus back out to the wall behind you or maybe out a window so that kind of movement of the eyes really helps the system to engage Garvin:yeah that's a great idea that's kind of like some of the bilateral you know there's tapping and left and right side of the brain and it sounds like that's kind of what you're talking about just how it can soothe our nervous system and calm things down too Garner:yeah so some simple stuff that you can do at any moment on any zoom call you you you can do this and no one's going to Garvin:really good for your eyes too right just to give them a little rest as well away from the screen Garner:totally and i don't know if you wear the blue light blockers but we've been wearing those glasses at our house and i think you can find them on the internet amazon for like 15 bucks or something Garvin:yeah i just got some reading ones in addition to these so i'm just trying them out now can you tell the difference Garner:yeah definitely you know i spend sometimes 10 to 12 hours a day on zoom meetings and on the computer and for a while i was getting really bad headaches by the end of thursday or friday so i noticed if i use my blue light blockers as much as possible and the other thing that Col. Dovalo does is he turns his night vision on his computer 24 7. so instead of having it bright during the day it's on that night vision which takes away some of the blue light so those are the two tips that we've been working with to help with the technology fatigue that's been happening so focusing on your finger and then focusing away so i have some more technology tips you can download on my website and we can link that up for any of you folks that want to get some more of those Garvin:okay what is that Garner:www.traumaeducator.com and there's some downloads for yoga nidra meditations and technology fatigue as well Garvin:great well and again you know just the importance of recognizing that our nervous system really needs attention and and maintenance to perform our best so just like we train our train our bodies to be fit we can also train train our brains for mental health fitness and and i think just being aware of our nervous system and how that's impacted and you know there's stress hormones like cortisol and and things like that that can really be pretty shocking to our nervous system and i remember i had a job working in crisis services and it was a very probably the most stressful job i've ever had but i had a co-worker that was hired and after about two weeks she said yeah this is too it's not good for my nervous system it's too jarring and she quit and i was like wow what a way to take care of yourself you know just recognizing that something is a little too much you know but just again having that awareness on on on how things impact your nervous system is great Garner:yeah and i think like you said if we we exercise to keep our bodies healthy and this is one way to do that as well practicing some of these exercises looking at your sleep making space to rest and take care of yourself is like exercising your mind body right that connection that we need because people that have a higher level of stress and tension tend to develop long-term health problems right higher levels of heart attacks Garvin:Ulcers Garner:yep tons and tons of research around this yeah so the more you can bring your system back into that rest state actually the more you're taking care of yourself in the long term to make sure your body is functioning at a more efficient and more restful way which is really important because right now even though times might be stressful is we can rest in our bodies and kind of provide that level of comfort for ourselves then we can do that more easily in our families right and with our partners and then that seeps out to our teams and our communities and our larger family systems which we could all use a little bit more compassion care and rest Garvin:oh definitely well it's like the the saying it's important to put on you know the oxygen mass on yourself first you know if you're taking care of yourself first your your mental health your physical health then we're able to take care of others better and we're in a better better position to do that so yeah any other any other tips that you want to give us Garner:i think just as we move towards spring which we're all feeling it i hope remembering to get outside in nature and even gardening or spending some time walking amongst the trees or on the canal path or wherever you're at is super helpful so that's one i'm looking forward to Garvin:me too everybody is daylight savings time is coming up not too not too far away and for those people i know some people that struggle with depression or seasonal affective disorder because we don't always get a lot of sunlight here really have a hard time motivating themselves to get out or to get some sunlight so sometimes i'll suggest you can just go around the block once you know and then maybe the next week you can go around twice if it feels too overwhelming to get back into some kind of fitness routine just to start really small and set yourself up for success Garner:absolutely i love that tip yeah Garvin:first things first you know you don't have to and progress not perfection i love that saying too you don't have to be perfect at anything just try Garner:keep it simple yep Garvin:yeah anything else yep that's it thank you and then i want to remind everybody of Christi's website www.traumaeducator.com and i think you said there's some free things you can download to help with that stress to rest practice and yeah and i encourage folks to to think about what sounds right for you or to try some of these things and see what a good fit is so thank you so much for being here and hope to have you back it's just nice to have short simple tangible topics each time for people to use especially right now during this pandemic so thank you Garner:thanks for having me Jill