If you haven’t listened to an earlier podcast I did on “Helping our Children Develop a Biblical Worldview, ”I suggest you go back and listen to that podcast, because some of that information is foundational to help your child build a positive, godly self-image and that will go a long way in helping them stand against all the negative feedback they receive in their life.
What Forgiveness Does Not Mean:
- They won’t feel hurt or sad anymore.
- They feel all warm an fuzzy after they forgive.
- They excuse what the other person did.
- They will just forget what was done to them.
- That they have to pretend it didn’t hurt or happen.
- Doesn’t mean they have to be friends with the person.
What forgiveness is:
- Accepting that the other person hurt them and yet choosing to forgive them.
- Realizing that what the other person says about them (in the case of bullying, etc. is not the Truth.) They need to have a strong self-image based on what God says about them. That’s why it’s important to help them build that during their early childhood years.
- Choosing to keep no record of the person’s wrong doing.
- Choosing not to keep thinking and rehearsing what happened over and over again in their mind. (Every time it comes up, they ask God to help them stop thinking about it. Pray instead for the person and that’s may be the hardest but best thing to do.)
- Refusing to get back at the person who hurt them or punish them in some way.
- Not telling everyone what they did--spreading rumors about them, etc. (Sometimes it’s necessary to tell an adult if what the other person did was bullying, illegal or harmful to them or someone else.)
- Forgiving themselves for any part they may have played in the offense. If necessary, confessing it to the other person and asking for their forgiveness. Then confessing it to God and receiving His forgiveness.
- Realizing that forgiveness is not easy, but that God can help them if they keep praying about it and praying for the other person.
- Realizing that we can’t forgive in our own strength. Only God can help us. Also, although we choose to forgive on a specific date and time, it may take a while to work through the feelings and emotions.
Some practical ways they might help your child with forgiveness:
- Perhaps your child might find journaling helpful—recording what happened, writing scriptures about forgiveness, and writing out their prayer of forgiveness and their daily progress in forgiving.
- Writing the offense on a piece of paper and after they have prayed and asked God to help them forgive, burn the paper (with your supervision).
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Thanks to my Virtual Assistant, Alyssa Avant (https://alyssaavantandcompany.com), for her tech genius and help with this podcast.