In this episode we discuss Liv's bois doing Globetrotter tricks (allegedly), how men doing scootin' or sparklin' or perchin' gives us the ick, the all-time worst dialogue of the movie, doing PDA's in line for rollercoasters as teens, how annoying it is that Bella didn't even try for their big school debut, going mudding, how flaccid we are when the vamps start vampin' out, the biology of vampires getting boners,  why baseball?, the mad-lib nature of this plot, eyelid acting, the most lacklustre staircase reveal of all time and SO MUCH MORE!!!