Despite what you may remember, Shaq was a genie in a boombox, and Sinbad was just an annoying Big Mac-slurping freeloader. Also, bedbugs: they're grosser than you thought. After they bite you, they spackle over the hole with feces, which can kill an old lady! I don't know, just listen... 

Intro/Outro - "Hopelessly Hopeless" by Evergreen Terrace